Smoke

I'm caught up again
in a cloud of smoke.

All these years
spent searching for
meaning -
never meaning
to be found.

I've done it before,
have stopped, cold.

Have released the fingers
wrapped tight around a destination.

Have abandoned the visions
off the side of the road
saying, I know where this ends
everyone does.

Yet here I am,
angry that I know and
hungry for ignorance.

Even now,
after I've said goodbye
I'm ready to start again.